Can This Be Right?

New Words for 2007
* TESTICULATING.
Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.
* BLAMESTORMING.
Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
* SEAGULL MANAGER.
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
* ASSMOSIS.
The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.
* SALMON DAY.
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.
* CUBE FARM.
An office filled with cubicles.
* PRAIRIE DOGGING.
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people’s heads pop up over the walls to see what’s going on. (This also applies toapplause for a promotion because there may be cake.)
* SITCOMs.
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with thekids or start a “home business”.
* SINBAD.
Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.
* AEROPLANE BLONDE.
One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a ‘black box’.
* PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE.
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
* ADMINISPHERE.
The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the “adminisphere” are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded “administrivia” – needless paperwork and processes.
* 404.
Someone who’s clueless. From the World Wide Web error message “404 Not Found” meaning that the requested document could not be located.
* OH – NO SECOND.
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you’ve just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you’ve hit ‘reply all’).
* JOHNNY-NO-STARS.
A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The ‘no-stars’ comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.
* GOING FOR A McSHIT.
Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you’re just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you’ll buy their food afterwards is known as a McShit with Lies.
* MILLENNIUM DOMES.
The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there’s actually naught in there worth seeing.
* AUSSIE KISS.
Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
* GREYHOUND.
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
* SALAD DODGER.
An excellent phrase for an overweight person.
* SWAMP-DONKEY
A deeply unattractive person.
* MONKEY BATH.
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: “Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa! Aa! Aa!”.
* MYSTERY BUS.
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you’re in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
* MYSTERY TAXI.
The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bedinstead.
* BEER COAT.
The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3:00am.
* BEER COMPASS.
The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze cruise, even though you’re too drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and where you’ve come from.
* BREAKING THE SEAL.
Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.
* TART FUEL.
Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.
* PICASSO BUM.
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she’s got 4 buttocks

Anything Else To Add You Randome People? You Too David! Everyone Be As Randome As You Want! This Randome Test?

hey expand your brains a lot! cuz this is the randome test! anyone with the most randome answers win!!! and by the way which one of these is your favorite???????
Cannibals are what they eat
superfluous super flues
What if you did not have nail fungus?
we found your pants.
You’re that crazy shark, aren’t you? I’m just a dolphin, maam.
Clever things to say after inhaling from a helium balloon
You are brave young dragon. But mine is the stronger gung-fu.
Do me a favor, and don’t do me anymore favors
Bailout Rescue Plan
Oh no! Not another learning experience!
I’d like 600 mirrors please
Pressing business at the dry cleaners
Rack of Spam recipe
Facts: 1) Ninjas are mammals. 2) Ninjas fight ALL the time. 3) The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people
These aren’t the droids we’re looking for
These aren’t the droids we’re looking for
A hip-hop MC performs with improvised rhyme and the spoken word, typically over a thumping beat.
I am not a chew toy
I AM the walrus.
bernard cribbins for president of the universe
Thank god and Greyhound she’s gone
the honey that burns
theres a great juggeler on the radio tonignt
Do you suffer from uncontrollable falling down?
Black Bean Chicken, medium spicy
All your platypus are belong to us.
broken dinner plates litter the airfields
I don’t know quite how to say this
Got change for a $6 bill?
the development of a nuclear powered egg
Dang…Probation denied again!
due to an imbalance of hormones i have been sick
this body is slowing and my mind is reverse growing
I’d love to, but I’m building a pig from a kit.
Do Not Read
Interesting article on eggplant
The CARDBOARD PROTOTYPE
never finish a burrito
logamin’
My brain is not large enough to destroy the entire world when unfolded.
Pity the worms!
You mush read this!
re: please don’t call me a chinchilla
Happy New Now!
I eat tofu and I vote.
Nutrageous!
free an eggroll or a fried crab rangoon
Did you or did you not order the CODE RED?!
I’ll transfer your skills to the legumes
for a fish and finger pie
Golf-ball sized hail! Grab your 9-iron and let’s go…
It’s not you, it’s me. I don’t like you.
Cooking with heat
I’ll take that drink now.
RE: four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie
Be Your Own Boss!!8098
little ducks fighting bigger ducks
Please do not request no spicy hot
Shaolin Golden Palm!
Bonsai Kitten
Now three, act like wherever you are, that’s the place to be.
Sensitive boyfriend sweater
Rupert and mummy bear go by train with Bill on holiday again.
The black crow flies over the sleeping dog at midnight
Define “love”
if i “hop into the shower” am i turning into a rabbit?
Everything today is about the entire enterprise! Front and back lines – inside and out.
The sushi boats are in the harbor for the night
What’s new, Pikachu?
Shall we play a game?
the art of driving a giant, nuclear powered duck
Pandora didn’t think outside the box
I like pie.
puking rainbows
My hobby is collecting dust
the royal afflecks
CONCERN BROWN BAG TIX STILL AVAILABLE!
Absotively posilutely
Re: test results
Ma has a ham!
Waterbeds for Quadrupeds
Expanding the NFL season to 162 games
Hey everybody, I’m going to band camp!!
Eating pasta with chopsticks
Return at once to the Mother Ship!
You ATE the grand panjandrum’s booties?
Have you tried the HotPockets? They’re breathtaking!
I know kung fu!
My motivational speaking tour
Workin’ like a one-armed paper-hanger with an itch…
Girls, are, wicked awesome.
You can fight or you can surf. Now what’s it gonna be?
Time-off for good behavior
bramble bushes and holy rushes
I’m going through a shrinking spurt
Alarming drop-out rate of sky diving classes
Save the whales! Collect the whole set!
Save some funk for Sunday
I am not edible.
Carving watermelons on Halloween
Sorry that meeting sucked so bad
rocking roll dudes on motorbikes
cycling over melons
Wanna try the Good Cop/Bad Cop routine?
I’m NOT fat…that’s my money belt
Allow myself to introduce…myself
Sender wishes to recall message
What we have here is a failure to communicate
Astonishing feats of MENTALISM!
I’ve never seen a man eat so many chicken wings
There are eels in my hovercraft
We sell solutions, not software
When Lawyers Attack
Gushy Review! Over the Top! You Sound Like The Market Executive!
Mind over don’t matter.
Busted, cold dusted, hot dog, with mustard.
i’ve arranged a list of exciting things we can do for the next thirty years
“racecar” spelled backwards
As a youth I used to weep in butcher shops.
Stop baby sea turtles from being crushed!
I love animals cause they’re made of meat.
Charleston Chewy is Chewy, Louie. But not too chewy.
Leveraging core competency across the extraprise
Smells like a wet dog.
MAKE MONEY FAST
Oh, I get it. It’s very clever. How’s that working out for you?
I am disrespectful to dirt!
I served in the military under General Apathy
ASAP’S Fables
Dang! That’s the 10th Commandm

What Do You Think Of This?

Right, here I go.
So my best friend has a 6 year old English Cocker Spaniel (Maizie), to a doggy person it is clear to see that this dog has issues, it is snappy and stubborn with my friend and has some very bad behavioural/possibly pack ranking problems, however my friends mum sees very little fault with her and thinks she is a great dog. Now that isn’t my problem, this is!
So my friend text me a few weeks back saying that they were getting a puppy. My Instant response was,
where from?
what breed?
what sex?
Wow! From my mums friend, its a mongrel and it’s a girl.
I said, ‘do you think Maizie will take well to another female puppy?’, my friends response was, ‘probably not, Maizie will probably kill it but my mum said, she’s not having any ”willies” in this house.
I left the conversation topic there and moved onto something else.
Fair enough, if they want another dog they can get another dog, although it did baffle my mum and I as to what Maizie would think of it and also because they are going on holiday end of July, where is the puppy supposed to go??
Well, it gets worse. My friend phoned me up the other day and told me her mum wanted to get another puppy, and they were. I assumed it was from the same litter, but oh no, I was wrong. Another friend had Greyhound/Whippet puppies, surprise surprise, they were getting a *****. I said to her, ‘you must be mad. Not even I, a dog crazy orientated person who is knowledgeable on the species would ever get two puppies at the same time!!’ She told me it was three weeks old and she’d been to visit it that day. I asked her when they were getting the new dogs and she said in about two weeks ‘NO!!’ I told her this was very unwise and to wait until the puppy is atleast 8 weeks old to prevent behavioural problems.
To some it up, they currently have a temprimental cocker who is very possessive over her owner. Two people who know little about dogs (my friend couldn’t care less if they had a dog or not) and the family are out from 7.30am-5.00pm, during this time the three dogs will be left. Oh and because they think my dogs are so well trained they have asked me to help with training because they wont be taking them to training classes. They are not doggy people, their dog has to fit in with their lives and they don’t make compromises for Maizie, which means she doesn’t get daily exercise. My friends nan is also suffering from alziemers and so is living bed ridden in their house with them.
What would you do?
Maybe I’m over reacting because I would love to have three dogs.
Is this really bad?
Oh I don’t know what to say to my friend or anything?
Any advice would be welcomed, thank you.

Has This Ever Happened To You As A Dog Owner?

Yesterday I was put in an awkward situation when I had my 8 month old Dachshund pup in a local Tackle and Pet Supply store.
My boyfriend and I stopped at our favorite pet supply store with our Dachshund and Greyhound/Boxer mix. This is a store that we frequent about 3 times a month for supplies (sometimes just to get the dogs out especially in winter) Both of our dogs have been going there since they were puppies and finished their shots, and both dogs are very obediant and quiet in the store. The people who work there know us, and love seeing us come in with the dogs. This was a trip to treat them to some fresh bully sticks before a long road trip we have coming up.
Anyways here is my issue and what happened. My dachshund and I were in one Aisle picking out treats while my boyfriend and our mutt were looking at new collars. A lady with a little girl from about 2 aisles across the store came stamping at us and proceeded to tell me to get that heathen of a dog out of the store, it was a danger and menace to all of the customers. I looked down at my Dachshund to find him still sitting quietly at the position I put him at and waiting intently for me to tell him to come on, and I assumed she had saw the larger dog who looks kind of bullyish and was worried irrationally because of that. I assured her that the mix was fine, has been through training, and she didn’t have to worry. She THEN begins to tell me its not our mix she is worried about but our dachshund! And started to tell me that there is no such thing as a good dachshund.
I understand they can be snippy if provoked and thats why I spent such a large amount of money on my dog for buying from a breeder who has bred for health and temperament as well as had the dog being socialized from a VERY young age and been working through classes with him.
Has anyone else been questioned about their dog or offended by someone who didn’t understand when you had a dog that wasn’t typically viewed as a potential threat. (Or if your a “dangerous” dog owner what absurdities have you had to endure.!)

Is This The Wrong Reason To Get A Dog And If It’s Not What Breed Should I Get?

Well I’ve been planning on owning two Cavaliers for when I become a grown adult, and I just realized that I might not be to safe! I don’t know exactly when I’ll be getting married, and a single woman is a pretty vulnerable target, if you know what I mean. So, I’ve been thinking I want to rescue one of these breeds:
Greyhound- I’d love to rescue one from a Greyhound Racing Rescue place, they’re so elegant. My one question though is how old do you expect to get these dogs if you rescue them from there?
Rottweiler- I’ve always loved this breed, and I really want to rescue one. My main question for this breed though is training available through obedience classes for this dog?
Brittany- I also want to rescue a Brittany, and my question for this breed is if it’s even a good guard dog?
So please take the time to answer the questions above and also answer if I’m getting a larger dog for the right reasons. I’d love this dog to death, don’t get me wrong. And have any other breed suggestions?
Thanks!

Why Would My Dog Do This??

My dog just got in from her evening walk,all things seemingly normal. She then came into the livingroom and peed right in the middle of a rug. She is 2 years old and an italian greyhound. I thought she knew better than this ,especially since she had just been out. there have been no strange animals in the house and nothing odd happened today. What would cause a fixed female dog who is house trained to do this? She does this about every other month-Could she just be not very smart?

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What’s The Right Dog For Me As My Second Dog? Where Are Quizzes For This?

Well, I already have a wonderful furry companion, but she REALLY needs a friend. I love her SO much, she’s SUCH a great dog. I’ve been wanting to get a big dog for a while, but I own an Italian Greyhound so I’m guessing I need to keep a dog around her size to play with her.
I was going to get a puppy, but I don’t want to have to go through that training and waking up multiple hours of the night. It’s definitely like having a baby and I already did that once w/ my little girl and she’s now 2 years old and very well behaved. So I was thinking of adopting a dog that’s no more than 2 years old.
I live in an apartment, near parks and take my dog for at least ONE long walk a day and outside whenever she needs to go. She’s really a couch potato and the sweetest thing who loves everyone.
I’m looking for a dog her size that can play with her.
So I need one that will be ok w/ where I live and how I live and not have TOO much energy, but just enough so that’s it’s playful.
I HATE lots of barking, like a terrier, they drive me NUTS. My dog goes out on the balcony for like 15 minutes and barks and that’s all the barking she does all day.
I’d like a dog that’s easier to train and willing to please.
I also want one that really bonds with me and my boyfriend, but won’t hurt people by being possessive of us.
So what kind of dogs should I look into?
Also, are there any good online quizes for this?
THOROUGH answers REALLY appreciated.

Dog Experts, What Do You Think Of This Breed?

Hey…
I’m finally getting a puppy next week, and after a long search for the
perfect breed, I decided to go with a little-known breed that’s been
around for 150 years, and is recognized by the National Kennel Club and rumored to be the most likely next addition to the AKC due to its
rapidly increasing popularity. It is called a Texas Lacy (also known as
a “Texas Game Dog”).
It comes in three color patterns: Blue Lacy, Red Lacy, and Tri-Color Lacy.
For a great photo of a Blue Lacy, which is the color I’m getting, click here…

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_lacy

Texas Lacy’s are becoming popular for several reasons: one is because
they’re considered the smartest breed on earth, even moreso than the
better-known brilliance of the Border Collie. Another is their functionality. Their lineage is a 3-way cross between a greyhound,
a redbone hound, and a coyote…the coyote in it makes it a great
hunter, the greyhound makes it remarkably athletic, and the redbone
makes it renowned bloodtracker…and therefore it’s a dog you can
train to do darn near anything. Finally, it’s considered to be one of the longest lived and healthiest dogs on earth due to very responsible limited breeding. Lacy’s commonly live to see 15, and have been known to see 20, and remain relatively mobile until the very end. And
one truly bizarre ability; Lacy’s can even climb trees to its low branches…a skill it evolved after years of breeding towards squirrel
hunting.
But I’m writing this because, there is SO LITTLE INFORMATION online
about this dog. I had to speak with 20 breeders in person before I
learned the history of this remarkable dog. Lacy breeders are a
very secretive bunch; most require interviews before granting a puppy,
and are militant about the owner intending to either actively heard with,
or hunt with, the dog.
Do ANY of you know any more info about this dog? It’s amazing how
few “experts” even know of this breed, let alone have interacted with it.
But then again, it’s a breed that’s kept a very low profile in the rural
Texas-hill country for 150 years until recently, so that might be why
so few people realize what a gem it is.

What’s The Right Dog For Me As My Second Dog? Where Are Quizzes For This?

Well, I already have a wonderful furry companion, but she REALLY needs a friend. I love her SO much, she’s SUCH a great dog. I’ve been wanting to get a big dog for a while, but I own an Italian Greyhound so I’m guessing I need to keep a dog around her size to play with her.
I was going to get a puppy, but I don’t want to have to go through that training and waking up multiple hours of the night. It’s definitely like having a baby and I already did that once w/ my little girl and she’s now 2 years old and very well behaved. So I was thinking of adopting a dog that’s no more than 2 years old.
I live in an apartment, near parks and take my dog for at least ONE long walk a day and outside whenever she needs to go. She’s really a couch potato and the sweetest thing who loves everyone.
I’m looking for a dog her size that can play with her.
So I need one that will be ok w/ where I live and how I live and not have TOO much energy, but just enough so that’s it’s playful.
I HATE lots of barking, like a terrier, they drive me NUTS. My dog goes out on the balcony for like 15 minutes and barks and that’s all the barking she does all day.
I’d like a dog that’s easier to train and willing to please.
I also want one that really bonds with me and my boyfriend, but won’t hurt people by being possessive of us.
So what kind of dogs should I look into?
Also, are there any good online quizes for this?
THOROUGH answers REALLY appreciated.

Why Would My Dog Do This?!?

Chocolate lab/greyhound mix– really beautiful dog. 11 months old. House trained. Hasn’t had an accident in over 3 months, and that was a random, one time occurrence.
Yesterday, she ran with my husband (while he was mountain biking) for an hour, then she was exhausted & well behaved the rest of the day. She had obedience class yesterday from 5-6. Then at 7:15 we had some friends over for dinner. We took her out to use the bathroom at about 6:45. Then my husband & I were running around frantically trying to straighten up the house. We put her in her crate soon after our friends came because she seemed a little skittish. After they left, I was going to bed and there was a huge, cold urine stain right in the center of my white bed spread.
Why the sudden lapse in house-breaking? She’d been an angel all day & we’d given her adequate opportunities to use the bathroom.

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